|Tuesday, January 7th, 2014|
|Words Can Have Multiple Meanings
A conversation, held while one of us was in the kitchen, and the other in the bedroom:
"I'm going to have some of my stevia ice cream."
"I'm going to take off my top."
"Those things are both sweet."
|Thursday, March 28th, 2013|
|Me Too, Babe
"I like how I call you things like 'heartless bastard' and you just laugh."
|Thursday, January 20th, 2011|
|Saturday, December 11th, 2010|
|Saturday, August 28th, 2010|
|A series of post-it notes left in an issue of X-Men
He's going to give it to his brother, in the latest stack of I-read-them-you-can-have-them comics.
Each has an arrow on it pointing to a panel containing a woman.
"I think this artist* might draw the biggest tits in comics."
"See what I mean? She's supposed to be a Chinese-American teenager, right?"
"Even this no-name is huge!"
"Storm. I rest my case." (Two arrows.)
* Paco Medina did the pencils.
|Friday, August 20th, 2010|
|He's Making Half a Dozen Pies Tonight. I Am 'Helping.'
"I got a dozen more eggs, ten more limes, three cans of sweetened condensed milk, another box of graham crackers, and a citrus squeezer, because that's too many limes to squeeze by hand. Oh, and a fresh bottle of tonic for my post-pie gin and tonic."
"I think you mean your 'You don't need all
those limes, do you?' gin and tonic."
|Saturday, May 8th, 2010|
|Thursday, March 25th, 2010|
|Friday, March 12th, 2010|
|Wednesday, December 16th, 2009|
|Friday, November 20th, 2009|
|Friday, November 6th, 2009|
|Wednesday, October 28th, 2009|
|Actually, I'm Known Around The House as 'Tough Guy'
"I told you about [his Libertarian boss]'s gun, right? He bought one because somebody said he couldn't.
His spite gun."
"Yeah, you did. I want a gun that shoots
"That should go on your blog: 'The Shithead Speaks.'"
|Saturday, October 10th, 2009|
|Real Emotion In His Voice
"I hated getting take out of a game. Those little league games were, what?, six innings. They would take me out after the fourth and put the fat kid at first base and I would get pissed
. Fat fucking Wally Wescott."
|Saturday, September 12th, 2009|
|Sunday, July 26th, 2009|
|Saturday, July 11th, 2009|
|He Flatters Me
"Can I have a bite of your bagel? Just a little one! Look how little it is!"
"That's what I think whenever I look at you."
"'Look how little it is!' Except when I'm looking at your chest."
|Thursday, July 2nd, 2009|
|This Conversation Took Place at 8 AM
"When I was out running just now a truck went through a puddle and soaked me! It was totally like the opening credits of Sex and the City
except that I wasn't wearing makeup or a tutu."
"Aw, do you need a martini?"
|Thursday, June 25th, 2009|
"I hope in heaven Michael Jackson is the ten-year-old Japanese girl he always wanted to be."
|Friday, May 29th, 2009|